So I have a dating journal that I have kept since I started going on dates (well the legal dating life of 16). I had a few before then, but we won't go there!
Back to the journal....in it I have recorded every single legal date I have ever been on. It can be quite a read if you actually get your hands on it. I basically write down everything: where we went, cute things he told me, what I learned about dating in general, how I felt about the guy, and my expectations of where I thought it would go. It's kind of a trophy book to someone from the outside I guess, but to me it is a learning tool.
For example, I have been able to look back at relationships and check myself through it's progress. One of the guys I actually ended up dating, I did this with. As the relationship progressed, I was coming to the decision of whether I should take the relationship to the next level or break up. I had done the pros and cons list, prayed about it, talked to everyone and their dog and I still wasn't quite sure what to do. I loved this guy obviously because I had invested so much time and heart into the relationship. It would have been hard at this time to give up something so great! But still...I had no answers. Just pure love. So I was writing a date in my journal one night and I decided to flip back through my dates with this guy that I loved so much. One our very first date, I was surprised with my first impressions. I had obviously blocked them out and forgotten about them. It said very clearly, "I don't think I would want to marry a guy like this, but he would be fun to hang out with." I flipped through the next date and still I had said, "Well he's nice and really good looking, but there is just something missing." As each date came, I stopped realizing all the things that weren't working and instead reported all the fun times we were having. It was easy to block out the uncertain when he was so fun! I realized then that I had ignored my first initial impression of this guy. I took that as an answer and moved forward with the breakup. It was one of the hardest decisions, but I could have saved myself a lot of grief if I would have just remembered that first initial impression.
Now I know this seems a little naive, but I still have my reasons for continuing to write. One day I will learn specifically why certain guys were brought in my life and that will reassure me it was worth the experience. Sometimes that verification is hard to see, yet, someday...it won't be.
So the point of this whole entry is to say this....I have been on 189 dates as of last Monday....and over I'd say 140 of those dates were first time dates. Either I was hooked up on a blind date, gutsy enough to ask a hot guy out, or some random guy was interested in me. Either way, that is a lot of freakin guys!!!! For 8 years, I have randomly trusted and given pieces of my heart to random guys. And all for the experience at times.
Dating can be extremely fun, and always had been until I started school at BYU-Idaho. There I started stressing out that friends were talking marriage everywhere I turned. RM's scraped the walls of that place and they were ready to move on to the next step in their life. My roommates were dropping like flies. 8 of them married while I lived with them. It can be quite frustrating, lonely, and hard when others are ,moving on with a huge step in their lives while you are being left behind. This Mormon culture that I grew up around definitely was having an impact and I have realized...taken all the fun out of dating. I used to have so much fun without a care in the world where the relationship would go. I would take each date as it came and live in the moment. I think it's time I return to that old me!
Welcome back Jenny! It's been awhile!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Summer photos
This is Owen.....the cute boy I had a fling with. Sad day it ended. :(
Me and my best friend, Heidi getting ready for the dance (where I would meet Owen)
These are my cute nieces, Lilly and Ginger. We had a blast on the beach every day!
This is my baby Austin. We grew up together and haven't seen each other for five years. It was like we never left. Love him!!!! So cool and accepting of others
This is me with a bunch of hotties from Georgia :) Kenny, Dave, Kyle and Keith! Some of the best guys ever!! Truly.
This is me with the happy couple, Kamie and James Detterback nd my best friend, Amber Gardner.
Oh I left this out and it was probably number 4 best Georgia good times :0 This is me and my Bryan in the air in his private plane. He probably would get pissed if I shared this but I also got kissed in the air for the first time ;) Love ya friend!! hehehe
Me and Anika, my best friends daughter! She is sooooo freakn cute!my month......
Life has been crazy. I went to Six Flags a couple of weeks ago and my life can definitely can compare. One day is good and relaxing and the next is stressed out and worrisome. Today is...good!!!!
Well here's an update of my vacation life this summer. I do clean a house for a job, but decided that this summer I wanted to vacation more than work because teachers have a hard time adjusting their first year and vacation probably won't be happening much after I start.
So I started my adventures out in Texas. I stayed there a week with my family. I was able to work on my book, relax, chill out with my best girl, Heidi, and just be plain lazy! If that wasn't relaxing enough, I went to Florida with my family the next week. It was so much fun although I never did get enough sleep, although my family would say differently. I tanned as much as I could, but the two rainy days was a bummer, My parents bought me a timeshare for Graduation and that was awesome to get the deed to that!!!! I let my brother and his family stay in it this year, but next year I will invite my closest friends and party it up!!!
I had a blast hanging out with everyone. My nieces were so much fun this year!!! We had a blast flying kits on the beach.
An old friend who I grew up with in the condos was there this week, Austin. He is the coolest guy ever. Our paths go slightly different, but it's amazing how the time doesn't even seem to fade our friendship!!!
After a week there, I went back to Texas and spent another relaxing week with family and Heidi. On that Friday I met a cute boy, Owen and we hit it off like magic! We spent the weekend together and had a lot of fun.
Then I went to Georgia for a week and had a blast seeing old friends. I went to the best Amusement Park in the world, Six-Flags over GA!!!!! It was soooo not crowded, so we got to ride the best roller coaster there four times in a row, as well as a few times on each really good roller coaster. Some of them are old and shake your bones a lot--but it was still a blast! I attended my friends wedding Kamie (which was beautiful) and hung out with her sister, Amber Gardner who was my best friend growing up. It was like old times being with her!!! I feel in love with her daughter Anika who was the cutest girl ever!!!! The best part of Georgia was going to the church I grew up in. When I was there, there were only 30-40 people there every Sunday. When we went that week, there was 103 people there and the branch now has 4 sets of missionaries. It's amazing to see how the church grows! Man it's true!
Meanwhile I'm still talking to the guy in Texas (Owen) and missing him more and more each day. So I come home a day early to see him and the sad ending to this story is that I haven't seen him yet. He was busy with a business conference and later he told me he wasn't over his ex-gf and that he didn't want to hurt her by moving on too fast! ..............Understandable.........
So ya that week kind of sucked. I was having anxiety stress all week, I wasn't sure where I was going in my life was okay, and I felt like I wasn't supposed to live in Las Vegas anymore. So I applied to Texas, Arizona, and Utah. I still don't know. So don't ask. I don't have a job yet!!!
The best part of the week although was seeing my best friend Leander. There was one advantage to me meeting Owen. I had planned on staying longer in Texas to be with Owen and now that he wasn't an option, I was going back to Vegas. In the meantime I had to chill in Texas and while I was waiting, Leander flew into Texas with his job. I loved spending time with him. He's my best friend that has up and moved to Germany on me and it was great to be with him again!!!!!
After a week of hell.....i mean a hard week :) I started my trip to Arizona with my dad. I love my dad and spending that much needed one on one time was much needed. We spent a lot of time with his family and Arizona and I realize more and more how my dad and his family have been through so much and they are such wonderful people. I spent time with my cousins and it was fun to be around family. I've always lived so far away from them. I was disappointed I wasn't able to see one of my big-time crushes and pissed he didn't make the time to see me, but I realized that I was trying to move mountains on that one!!! He's a bonehead!
I also got to see my very best friend, Kim Maloney! She lives in Phoenix now and is doing well. I miss being near her and Lenel. They were my college BFF's. Her girls are growing so quickly!!! My dad and I headed to Kingman where I saw some of my old recent converts and investigators. They are truly the loves of my life and there is nothing like visiting old people that I taught from my mission. It was fun for my dad to tag along. I dragged him to a BBQ in Vegas the next day and he met a lot of my friends from church. He was great entertainment! I have to admit, I have the most amazing and fun dad ever!!! It was a wonderful week with him. Probably the best of the summer yet!!!
So here's whats coming up!!!!!
=I have a date tomorrow with a QT I met today.....mmmm but I'm not counting any chicks yet!
=I'm flying to Arizona Tue-Fri to visit a cousin and hopefully see a "bonehead" but very doubtful
=Spending the weekend with Danny, my hot pre-mi from Utah, who I know I shouldn't like--cause he's leaving
=Driving to Utah the next week to have interviews, an Internet date, visit my brother, have some interviews, and spend time with Danny
=Then....I'm not sure what to do! Any suggestions??? Oh and my co-author of my book is no longer my co-author!! Sad day he is....a bonehead...I mean too busy!!!! So I am writing alone which I actually am okay with!!!!
Love to all!
Jenny
Well here's an update of my vacation life this summer. I do clean a house for a job, but decided that this summer I wanted to vacation more than work because teachers have a hard time adjusting their first year and vacation probably won't be happening much after I start.
So I started my adventures out in Texas. I stayed there a week with my family. I was able to work on my book, relax, chill out with my best girl, Heidi, and just be plain lazy! If that wasn't relaxing enough, I went to Florida with my family the next week. It was so much fun although I never did get enough sleep, although my family would say differently. I tanned as much as I could, but the two rainy days was a bummer, My parents bought me a timeshare for Graduation and that was awesome to get the deed to that!!!! I let my brother and his family stay in it this year, but next year I will invite my closest friends and party it up!!!
I had a blast hanging out with everyone. My nieces were so much fun this year!!! We had a blast flying kits on the beach.
An old friend who I grew up with in the condos was there this week, Austin. He is the coolest guy ever. Our paths go slightly different, but it's amazing how the time doesn't even seem to fade our friendship!!!
After a week there, I went back to Texas and spent another relaxing week with family and Heidi. On that Friday I met a cute boy, Owen and we hit it off like magic! We spent the weekend together and had a lot of fun.
Then I went to Georgia for a week and had a blast seeing old friends. I went to the best Amusement Park in the world, Six-Flags over GA!!!!! It was soooo not crowded, so we got to ride the best roller coaster there four times in a row, as well as a few times on each really good roller coaster. Some of them are old and shake your bones a lot--but it was still a blast! I attended my friends wedding Kamie (which was beautiful) and hung out with her sister, Amber Gardner who was my best friend growing up. It was like old times being with her!!! I feel in love with her daughter Anika who was the cutest girl ever!!!! The best part of Georgia was going to the church I grew up in. When I was there, there were only 30-40 people there every Sunday. When we went that week, there was 103 people there and the branch now has 4 sets of missionaries. It's amazing to see how the church grows! Man it's true!
Meanwhile I'm still talking to the guy in Texas (Owen) and missing him more and more each day. So I come home a day early to see him and the sad ending to this story is that I haven't seen him yet. He was busy with a business conference and later he told me he wasn't over his ex-gf and that he didn't want to hurt her by moving on too fast! ..............Understandable.........
So ya that week kind of sucked. I was having anxiety stress all week, I wasn't sure where I was going in my life was okay, and I felt like I wasn't supposed to live in Las Vegas anymore. So I applied to Texas, Arizona, and Utah. I still don't know. So don't ask. I don't have a job yet!!!
The best part of the week although was seeing my best friend Leander. There was one advantage to me meeting Owen. I had planned on staying longer in Texas to be with Owen and now that he wasn't an option, I was going back to Vegas. In the meantime I had to chill in Texas and while I was waiting, Leander flew into Texas with his job. I loved spending time with him. He's my best friend that has up and moved to Germany on me and it was great to be with him again!!!!!
After a week of hell.....i mean a hard week :) I started my trip to Arizona with my dad. I love my dad and spending that much needed one on one time was much needed. We spent a lot of time with his family and Arizona and I realize more and more how my dad and his family have been through so much and they are such wonderful people. I spent time with my cousins and it was fun to be around family. I've always lived so far away from them. I was disappointed I wasn't able to see one of my big-time crushes and pissed he didn't make the time to see me, but I realized that I was trying to move mountains on that one!!! He's a bonehead!
I also got to see my very best friend, Kim Maloney! She lives in Phoenix now and is doing well. I miss being near her and Lenel. They were my college BFF's. Her girls are growing so quickly!!! My dad and I headed to Kingman where I saw some of my old recent converts and investigators. They are truly the loves of my life and there is nothing like visiting old people that I taught from my mission. It was fun for my dad to tag along. I dragged him to a BBQ in Vegas the next day and he met a lot of my friends from church. He was great entertainment! I have to admit, I have the most amazing and fun dad ever!!! It was a wonderful week with him. Probably the best of the summer yet!!!
So here's whats coming up!!!!!
=I have a date tomorrow with a QT I met today.....mmmm but I'm not counting any chicks yet!
=I'm flying to Arizona Tue-Fri to visit a cousin and hopefully see a "bonehead" but very doubtful
=Spending the weekend with Danny, my hot pre-mi from Utah, who I know I shouldn't like--cause he's leaving
=Driving to Utah the next week to have interviews, an Internet date, visit my brother, have some interviews, and spend time with Danny
=Then....I'm not sure what to do! Any suggestions??? Oh and my co-author of my book is no longer my co-author!! Sad day he is....a bonehead...I mean too busy!!!! So I am writing alone which I actually am okay with!!!!
Love to all!
Jenny
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