Thoughts about Fred

4-19-09

I've been dating Fred, although he just left for Houston for 4 1/2 months and we are on hold for now. I was really torn up when he left and I realized how much I really liked him.

So I was at the temple today with my ward and I was sitting with Sr. Montgomery. I had an okay day, but I was really missing Fred. He was on his way to Memphis to help set up their office. He had only been gone two days. I was thinking about him alot when we were eating dinner because the stake president was sitting across from me and we were talking about dating. He told me that his talk for stake conference was going to be about dating and we started giving him all kinds of advice that he will probably bring up on Sunday. I was talking about Fred of course and how even though he was obsessed with his computer and technology stuff, he hadn't let it come between us. I asked the stake president if it was okay to be dating someone that wasn't temple worthy currently but was working on it. He said it depended on the situation and that I'd have to judge it for myself.

So on top of all that, when I went into the Endowment room I was praying for what I should be doing. I am kind of scared to ask if he would be the right one, but I do ask if he would make a good father, should I continue dating him, etc. Then during the session, Sr. Montgomery leaned over and told me she had thought alot about the questions I had asked her on Sunday. I had asked her how she knew her husband was the right one for her. She had told me she had known right away that he was right for her. BUt when he finally proposed he told her that he didnt think there was one right person for each other. He said, "When there's a will, there's a way." If two people have the will to be together and they both put in their all, then it will work. I thought alot about that. I didnt like him a ton in the beginning but he kind of just grew on me.

I was thinking about how I ad thought he was such a geek in the beginning and that over time he had really grown on me. Then I started thinking about that time a few months ago that I started thinking that I would rather marry a dork than marry a cute ridiculous man who cared nothing about the things I cared for. I started thinking of a new motivational talk I could give: It's ok to be a dork. Then I started thinking about Sydeny White (the movie) and how that would tie in perfectly.

The last thing I was thinking about was smashing cake in Fred's face and saying, "I'm just practicing for later." I did that at Meischa's house when my dad was down for my birthday. I really said it as a joke and then we started joking around at being married. We still do it but I was thinking about that in the temple, and then I pictured us standing outside of the temple in wedding gear taking our pictures on the grounds. Weird. I don't know if we're ready for that step and I am not positive he is the one yet.  But he could be.

When I was leaving the temple I checked my messages and he had left me one that said, "Say hi to the Lord for me." I wrote him back and said, "Lord said if you haven't seen her in white, you're missing out." He wrote back and said, "Haha, I won't miss out forever." I thought that was cute and a perfect way to end my temple experience. :)