Sunday, May 28, 2017

Venture Small Moments

Crew Picnic
A special memory from the Venture backyard will always stand out to me.  I always feel like I have the best kids out of the whole pod.  I don’t know how that works, but it always happens to me. 
One sunny day, I was feeling kind of happy inside with how great my crew was, and I was trying to think of a way I could share my appreciation with them.  And then an idea hit me…a picnic.
I needed some bonding time with them.  We usually ate separately, them in the lunchroom and me with my other colleagues, but I was thinking…just for today, a picnic would be a great extra time together. 
And do you know…we had a fabulous time together.  We played and ate together.  I swear the other playground must be more magical than ours.  That slide is a deal breaker.  I’m excited for future playground dates with my kids. 

Chasing a Kid
It’s always a K-2 kid!  Why can’t kids just line up when we blow the whistle?  It’s a simple concept.  “Tweet, tweet”…run in as fast as your legs will carry you. 
It seems the K-2 pod has not gotten the memo.  They love to be the last in line, like they think surprises will be waiting for them. 
So one day the K-2 teacher on duty was whistling in her kids.  She must have not noticed the 20 or so monkeys hanging around for their imaginary surprise.  Slowly they trickled into the line, but there was one kid who just didn’t care.  So I started pursuing him.  We do you know, that kid ran away. 
I thought to myself, “Oh buddy, you are being defiant to the wrong teacher!”  I chased him, grabbed him by his shirt collar, and walked him back to his line.  You do NOT mess with the Rabe!

A Sneeze in the Hand
As I checked my students one by one off for having their math homework, I noticed a very, unsmiling face.  The person that it was attached to is usually very smiley so this was unusual.
“Mackenzie,” I began as I lifter her chin with my hand…
“Achooooo,” she sneezed right into my outstretched hand, now filled with her wet germs. 
“Ewww!!!!” I screeched.  “Go get me the anti-bacterial soap.  Hurry!!”  I cringed at the puddle of snot as I pumped clear soap into the mixture.  Hopefully the germs shriveled and died right there in my hand. But…you never know. 


Becoming District Leader
As all 30 or so of us 4-H’ers waited on the traditional piece of wood that covered the last row of benches in the auditorium, I was filled with anticipation and fear.  I had dressed up in PJs, slippers, and pigtails all weekend while carrying a heavy cornflake sign, shaking hands, and introducing my platform all weekend long. 
All of the tiredness left me although as I found myself shaking nervously for the results.  Only 11 district leaders could be chosen of the 30 who had been campaigning.  It was a prestigious, coveted position. 

Killing my First Wooly Bear
As I unlocked the back door to dismiss my students for the day, I heard a collective gasp.  “How could you,” I heard, and “I can’t believe you killed him.” I followed their eyes to the ground where I saw a black, velvety caterpillar with yellow guts now oozing over the pavement. 
“You killed a Wooly Bear,” another kid said to me.  I had indeed killed the creature that had met my now messy, cross-training shoes.  Ah, what a shame it had to be so close to the action.  

Needles are Terrible Friends
Needles have never been my close friends.  As I waited for the nurse to collect my blood, I shook with nervousness. 
“Tell me about your job,” she said as she swabbed my veins down with alcohol.
I looked away and through gritted teeth said, “I’m a teacher.”  I closed my eyes tight as the needle came closer. I gasped as pain shot up my arm and I squeezed Fred’s hand as it continued to sting.  The stinging didn’t stop and I took a chance and looked over at her progress.  No blood was coming out.  The small tube was only splashed with blood. 
“I need to fill at least 4 tubes,” she said as tears filled my eyes.  “You’re too dehydrated to give any more blood today.” 
I held back more tears as she bandaged me up and sent me off to reschedule an appointment.  If one poking wasn’t enough, two in a row would scar me for life.  Crying all the way home, I worried what the next day would bring. 

Thanksgiving Meal Down the Drain
Throwing up a whole Thanksgiving dinner is really not fun!  As I sat in my warm tub, I regretted those 9 green, crunchy pickles I had forced down my belly.  The tub of tangy cranberry sauce probably didn’t help either.
I called for Fred to bring me a bowl just in case I could not make it out of the tub in time.  And do you know, I filled that container twice before I could even make it to the porcelain god.  What a colorful dinner it turned out to be, as it swirled down the pit of despair.   

Saturday Fort
It was an easy decision to make on a Saturday morning.  The woods beckoned us to come.  How could we resist?  A fort would be built today, come rain or shine. 
We gathered a few branch-chopping tools, some rope, and some snacks to feed on when hunger would stop us from working.  Deep into the woods, we gathered around our well-used fire-pit. We laid down our tools and looked around at the trees that would surrender their branches to us.  Sacrifices had to be made. 
Josh made the first blow.  It was on a dead tree whose limbs barely seemed to be staying in place.  It was construction mayhem after that.  Lynsey, Josh, and I fought diligently for our fort walls. 
Certain limbs resisted being snapped and had to be twisted in every which a way.  Our pile of dead branches grew.  So did the scratches and scrapes that covered our arms and face. 
Finally satisfied that our pile was large enough, Lynsey and I started lining them up, almost as in an execution squad.   Josh pulled the rope in an out through the limbs, hoping to interweave them together.
He pulled them together tightly, but they had had enough.  They slipped out of the rope, fleeing for their escape.  We tried again, this time making many reinforcing knots. 
“This should hold em,” my brother muttered as he tightened the rope one last time.
A row of 10-12 sticks stood straight to the sky and within the minute we tried to add more wall, it bucked under the pressure. 
“This is too hard,” I complained. 
“Let’s do something else,” Lynsey suggested. 
I am sure as the branches watched us walk away, they cheered in triumph. They would never give in to the fort-building bullies. 



Student of the Month
The clock on the wall ticked its last audible sounds as the school day drew to a close.  I noticed cars pulling up around the pick-up area, waiting for exiting students.  I heard fingers tapping anxiously on wooden desks and tired teachers glancing at their watches.  Some students opened their backpacks, checking to see that their weekend homework was in place.   Others glanced at their phones, eagerly waiting to return promised phone calls.  The two hands on the clock appeared frozen in motion. 
“Come on,” I thought.  “Stop waiting for the grass to grow!”
It seemed everyone was eager to leave except for me.  I wanted to stay until the final announcements for the week were said.  This was the moment I had waited for all month, the announcement of who were the new students of the month.  Our school always chose two students from each grade, a boy and a girl.  These students must have shown outstanding behavior and earned exceptional grades.  I felt I was deserving of this school honor.
Others think of me as a typical kid, a normal student.  Deep within me, I do not feel ordinary or normal.  I feel extraordinary and special.  Maybe it was the way I was raised, with loving, supportive parents.  Or maybe it was just the way I felt about myself.  I felt special.  I felt important. 
So with all these feelings I had about myself, I couldn’t understand why it was invisible to everyone else around me, especially my teachers.  I remembered to myself all the times I had tried so hard to please my teachers, to help others around me, and to excel at the work they gave me.  I knew I was only a little fish in a big, old sea, but I still felt shiny and unique.  “Why couldn’t they see that?” I wondered. Maybe today would be different. 
“Crackle, crackle,” I heard the loudspeaker complain.  Excitement bubbled inside me as Mr. Harrison cleared his throat.  I sat up straight in my chair as quick as a wink, put my feet out in front of me, and clasped my hands together tightly.  My body leaned eagerly towards the gray intercom high above me on the white-washed wall.  This was it…the moment I had been waiting for all month!
The announcements seemed to drag on an on.  First it was the Homecoming game and where to buy the tickets.  Next they announced the Homecoming parade and the reminder to get your votes in for Homecoming King and Queen, and their Royal Court.   
“Bah! Who cares about that,” I thought.  Everyone knows the most popular kids are always picked.
My hands started to sweat as the announcements continued to roll out of the loudspeaker. 
“Now for the student of the month,” my principal continued. 
“Yay!” I thought as my breathing sped up.  Finally after many long minutes, he said the two names I had been waiting to hear all month….Ben Trice and Dorus Yu.  Wait! I didn’t want to hear THOSE names.  I laid my head on my desk, covered my face, and cried.  I was a failure to be noticed once more. 


1st Ultrasound

 

Instruments of all shapes and sizes covered the glassy counters. Round bins filled with silvery, sharp daggers, a square monitor screen to show surprising news, and an uncomfortable, plastic-lounge chair to wait added to the tension.  This is the place I would discover my fate for the next 9 months. 
As I sat on the sticky plastic, with only a towel draped over my bare legs, the clock ticked louder in my ears.  Even though Fred was sitting near me, his presence felt invisible.  I was alone.
As the sun set in the window frame, I noticed the silver door handle rise and fall.  It was time.  My heart pumped harder as the midwife walked through the open door.
 “Is this your first baby?” she asked as she started fingering her equipment. 
“Yes,” I nodded as I sat back expecting the worse.  She covered an extra-large ultrasound stick with jelly and told me to lean back and take deep breaths.  She plunged the cold stick up and before I could protest, I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. 
I saw a small screen to my right that showed a ultra-violet black surrounding a tiny white center.  “Is that my baby?” I asked in wonder.  She nodded and she continued to maneuver the stick from other angles. 
 “Huh…” I said to Fred, “that’s our little jelly bean.”  I watched as the midwife measured our baby from head to toe.  It wasn’t even 2 centimeters yet.  What a tiny miracle!


Sunday, June 29, 2014

Rabeisms

April 3 · 2014
Fred said that manna was Jesus bread and I said how's that different from regular bread..... is it gluten-free?

 
March 23 2014
So I was complaining to fred that he leaves a messy trail wherever he goes in the house and with a very boyish grin, holding his hands together in front of him innocently he said, "But that is so you can find me." Witty husband, I'll tell ya!

 June 29
Jenny- Did You fart
Fred-No it was fireworks
really did hear fireworks in the background
Jenny
Why did you just hold on to my leg and fart
Fred

So I wouldn't blow away

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

10 years mission reunion

So I am reflecting on my missionary journals.  I'll update this as I read them.  Its so interesting to see how much I changed.

First of all MTC.....wow! Mind not on the sidewalk thanks to good old Pendleton and sweet ole Dedrickson.  The people who literally made my MTC experience normal.  Even though one is an elder, and the other was not even my companion, I gleaned so much from them for support.  I lacked a companion who would help me enjoy my mission from the start.  Only later I realized it lies within myself to find out who I was as a missionary, as a person.  My MTC experience was all but normal.  My district never got along, we were constantly off-task, and missionary work was the last thing on some of our minds.  I cannot speak for the others, but I was definitely embarrassed and a little ashamed that I wasted so much time in a place that I could have grown so much from.

I did eventually find my groove in the MTC.  It was hard with a companion with whom I felt struggled to want to be there, but I eventually told myself I was not there for her.  I came because I loved what I believe and I wanted to share that with others.  My best experience there was in the TRC, the Teaching Resource Center.  This is where "Fake investigators" come and hear lessons that we practice on them.  Well I did not know this the first lesson we taught.  I was convinced our "investigator" was really not a member.  She looked so interested.  She said she did not have a Book of Mormon and so I left the room desperate to find a Book of Mormon.  No one had one, and finally, my companion rudely laughed me to shame and told me they were volunteer members.  Well the experience was ruined, but I will never forgot that one authentic experience that excited me about what I would be doing for the next 18 months.  I was ready at that point to start.

After I endured the MTC, I made it to the greatest mission in the world.  Casinos everywhere as I stepped out of the plane, elders dodging every pornographic wall.  Welcome to Vegas.

At my first Transfer Conference I was scared to death.  I saw the elders that were going home and thought, "Man, that is going to be me...in a long time."  I knew the sister who sung at the meeting would end of being my companion. She smiled at me alot with her very wild red lipstick.  She was eccentric from the start, bless her heart.  As I re-read all the experiences I had with Sr. Wiggins, I can't believe how much she prepared me for the rest of my mission.

One of the comments she told me at one of our companionship inventory, which I resented at the time, but now understand.  She said I was a fireball that needed to be aimed.  There are so many little things I learned from Serenity.  I remember how much we sang together, how much she tried so hard to follow the Spirit, and how she tried to be positive in everything that she did.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Home for the Holidays

We decided this year not to go to Texas for Christmas and thank goodness we didn't.  We were sick as dogs from all the little bugs we caught from friends at school and play.  We would have been miserable.  We have made the best of it and have enjoyed being at home this Christmas season.  The hardest thing has been to watch Freddy be so sick.  First he had the flu, and then Fred and I caught it a day later.  We were all taking turns at the porcelain god and it was no fun!  Freddy then caught a cold from the sitters and it passed through us right on Christmas Day. NO fun!

Regardless of the sickness, we had a great Christmas.  It was so fun dressing Freddy in cute Christmas outfits  to show him the lights for the first time and to do little things as a family.  I know next year will be more exciting, but we still enjoyed all of these precious moments with him.


Mimi was able to come and visit for two weekends during her conference and that was nice since we can't visit them.  We miss you though Papa Flake.  On Christmas Eve, we still did our tradition of Jesus presents.  I have done it every year now since I was 2 or 3.  You write down things you want to work on for the next year, spiritual goals, and then you receive a spiritual gift from Jesus.  Freddy got a book about the Book of Mormon, I got a nativity set, and Fred got some much needed garments.


On Christmas Day, because we were so sick, the big gifts, we covered in a blanket, or wrapped shabbily with newspaper. :)  We were tired and dick to care. :)  Fred and Freddy loved their sled.  Fred loved his tent pavilion and we both loved our Fire pit.  We spent the afternoon and evening with the Rabe's.  I was too sick to get too involved, but we had fun nonetheless.  We are so grateful for Jesus Christ and all he has done for us.



 Celebrating his birth seems so minimal to the sacrifice he has made for us.  Our hopes for this year is to reach more to others, and enjoy special moments more often as a family.  Merry Christmas to all.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Election of Never

Wow...I must report on the Election lessons I have learned over the last few weeks.  I do not want a repeat in four years.

I had never voted until this election....ever.  I was always in another state and needed an out-of-state ballot.  I also didn't care much about the leaders of a state I didn't even live in for the majority of the year.  I moved to Utah and five years later, I finally got a Utah licence   When they asked me if I wanted to register as a voter, there was no question in my mind.  This election coming up between Romney/Obama was too crucial.

With Freddy being born recently, I felt I owed it to him to try to vote for who I thought were good leaders.  They would impact him now as well and that worried me.  Actually it caused me great a deal of stress and anxiety.

I did not know enough about either one of the candidates to really judge, although I cling to the Republican side more than I do the Democratic side.  Romney was the Republican shoe-in and even though he was wishy-washy at times, I knew that America needed a change.  It seemed people had voted in Obama in the first place because they wanted to see an African American in the White House.  My friends down south would assume I am racist with this comment, but if you are not fit for the job, it doesn't matter what color you are.  Obama was not fit for the job, thus the trillions of dollars of debt we now have.

I posted different ads and campaigns that might help convince the other party how wrong they were about their choice.  I wanted to post a few, but I also want to put this behind me and not remember how I behaved.  I should have positively portrayed my side without bias, and encouraged others to become politically involved.  

Most would assume I would vote for Romney because he is a member of my church.  I am a very devout LDS member, who is imperfect mind you.  But that does not mean everyone is.  I admit that one good thing about Romney not making President is that the LDS church will not be in the spotlight and under the heavy scrutiny of ignorant and critical people.

More than anything in the world, I know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true and that Heavenly Father is in charge.  Not Obama, and when I felt that assurance after the results were in, I knew then that I could deal with this new change.  I needed to stop putting my trust in Romney.  Stop putting my trust in the common man to open their eyes to see the truth.  Stop mud-slinging political propaganda that only made opposers upset, and open my own eyes to see that whatever was going to happen did happen.

I feel at peace with this new knowledge that I have learned.  That God is in charge and he has allowed this to happen.  And now is the time to be the best Christian I can be and rise above the dust.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Best days of our lives

I have to say, and I think Fred will agree (He does :), these have been some of the happiest moments of our life.  Honestly, that is a true blessing for me.  I had a rough few years for a time there, and had a hard time finding happiness.  I got very discouraged along the way, and even when we were first married, I had a difficult time adjusting to that change.  But having Freddy in our lives has been the best and happiest life changer of my life.  We love him so much and couldn't imagine what life would be like without him.  I feel so sad when I find happy and willing couples that just cannot have babies, and my heart goes out to them.

I worried I would be so tired at the end of each school day and I would be annoyed that I would have another "child" to take care of.  This has not been so, although the toddler years are not here yet :)

My babysitter has children at my school, so occasionally I see her volunteering and I run to find Freddy.  I eat lunch with him and go to my classroom, lock the door, and just squeeze every moment I can with him.  There is nothing I want more in this world than to be at home with him.  But that is not an option right now, and I am trying to make the most of it.   I know stay at home moms get tired of staying at home, pursuing their own dreams, or feel like they can't escape the madness.  And I feel for them...but not alot.  What I wouldn't give to not have to work, but to just stay at home raising, being, and loving my children.  I guess it has helped me appreciate every special moment, and other than losing sleep every once in awhile, I feel no need to whine, complain, or vent.  I relish every moment I can, and pray in the future, things will be different.

But for now, we are doing the best we can.  We've made so many repairs, and yet, our house looks so decrepit from the outside (Next summer :)  We fulfill our church callings.  We love being with our extended family.  We love being together.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Life continues

It's been a month of adjustment for the Rabe Family!  I have had a particularly hard time going back to work (My boss has commented several times that I am grumpy!)  Well a teacher cannot thrive in that kind of atmosphere!  After the first time saying it, it really starts to feel like he is targeting me.  I have tried extra hard to be cheerful, but I think he mistakes my sarcasm as unhappiness.  Gotta work on that!

I have a rough bunch of kids this year that constantly have me on my toes!  The first week a boy put a stapler all the way through his finger!  He's a crazy one.  They are all sweet kids, it just takes some time to adjust to them.

It was so hard to drop Freddy off with the babysitter for the first official time.  It is getting easier, but I breathe a sigh of relief when I pick little Freddy up in the afternoon knowing I get to spend the rest of the day with him and Fred.  We do have a great babysitter though.  Chelsea is perfect, and she has a one year old that little Freddy watches and smiles at all day.  :)

I worried that when I picked up Freddy in the afternoon I would be frustrated, tired, and would not want to act as "mommy!"  The opposite has happened although and he rejuvenates me and helps me forgot about my worries.  I love this little boy more than words can say.  We are praying Fred gets a job in Ogden with MarketStar now that his year mark is past.  No luck so far, but we are praying.  Two hour commutes there and back, really wears on him.

We are also praying that my mom finds a job closer to us...it would sure be great to have my family near us.  I love having the Rabe family near us.  We have so many fun times together.  I feel so lucky to have married into such a wonderful family close by.  I never had family growing up near to me, and it such a good change. We have dinners on Sunday, holidays together, and we try to be there for the little and big events.  I never ad that and it would be great to have both families nearby.

Well this is us n a nutshell....a new happy family!