I am such a whiner. These last few months have been hard for me yes, but it could be so much worse. I tend to only have relationship problems, but I am kept safe from so many other problems life has to offer. I should feel extremely blessed that men problems is the worst!
I was watching this documentary on Anorexia. Oh my goodness. I was so sad watch people waste their lives away in obsession over being thin. It truly is an illness. Here I am complaining about not being able to move on very quickly after heartbreaks, yet I feel like I never stop my life over it. Well I did once and that was a no-no. But that was 4 years ago. Yet, sometimes it is hard to stay motivated during times of depression, I never bail out of work, I never miss church and blame God for my woes (because in the end I know He will be the only one standing after a disaster.) I know He'll never leave me no matter how stubborn and silly I am.
But to see these girls obsess after something so unhealthy was heart-wrenching. One of the girls had two kids. She was admitted into a facility and had a pretty positive attitude. They kept up with her after she left and she was recorded going out to eat, and while her kids were watching TV, she spent the bulk of the night in the bathroom purging her guts out. I much rather would have spent the night holding my loved ones than my stomach, but that's when it hit me that we all do amazingly stupid things for no particular reason but to feed our pride, ambitions, lusts, appetites, and behaviors. I knew it, but it just rang true yesterday.
I am about as stupid in the boy department and stubborn. People follow the dating stories that I tell and they are amazed with the crap I can put up with. I just allow myself to be walked on and take it because at least it's an emotion coming from something other than my computer monitor screen. Without realizing it, I lose the respect of the guys I date and become someone I am not. I am not like this in any other situations in life. I am pretty consistent in my job and my church life. But my relationship department, including friendships and family, just kick my little white fanny! I would love some consistency there. But still. my car is running great, I have food, my job is great, my family is supportive and healthy, I am healthy, and I am member of God's church. I am truly blessed.
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Yeah, that is so sad about anorexia and bulimia. I used to work in an after-school program and we had 2 cute students (a brother and sister) whose mom had died from being anorexic. They were both in my class and I thought they were the cutest, funniest little kids, and I didn't even know about their mom. But later one of the teachers who'd been there when it happened told me about it, and it just made me so sad. I mean, seriously, what can be more sad than 2 children having to grow up without their mom just because she wanted to be thin? Not that I mean to pass judgment on her, but I just think it's really sad. I always thought, "Man, if I was their mom I would really want to be there for them!" But sometimes certain things get taken out of perspective and can mess up our lives if we let them. So yeah, don't let them! Love you!
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